Feed back on first draft

When we finished our first draft within our group we showed, it to a small group of people in our target audience; and asked them their opinion on the film. We wanted to find out what areas of the film were not good, and areas that could be improved. Where the group thought that there were areas in which we could improve, we hoped this sort of unbiased feedback would help us to learn how we can complete the final draft. Below is some of the feedback from the initial screening we set up for a group of fellow student, most were an audience of 15-16 years old, which is the certification for our movie.

Sabah Sarwar - Opinion on the Opening

Overall, I found that the film that was made by Sister Productions was very good and looked very professional. From the opening scene I could clearly illustrate what the film was about. As well as it being a good production the actors were very good and had showed clear sign of good acting. This was probably due to the fact that the directors were very efficient and knew what they wanted.

What needs to be improved?

If there was something to improve about the film it was the end acting scene to where the actor (Memz Karakus) lacked the role. By this I mean the jump he did to hit Nadia was a bit slow. 　

Sonia Ahmed - Opinion on the Opening

I liked the whole concept of the film and it makes sense. Where they have put in the sound effects, I think they should have taken the natural sounds out. The credits at the start are coming too quickly not letting the audience see them.

What needs to be improved?

I think that opening credits could maybe be slowed down a bit. They need to put in the production logo at the start.

Husaam Hussain - Opinion on the Opening

Overall I think it was a good production for the first draft. The camera work seemed pretty professional and the background music suited the scene. There were good effects used as well.

What needs to be improved?

The thing I think could be improved is the style of font for the credits; it should be clearer so the person watching can read it properly.

Umar Hussain - Opinion on the Opening

I think that it has been done professionally. Over the shoulder shot was used in a professional manner and the editing effects was done in a high standard. The background engaged the audience and it makes you want to carry on watching ahead. I really liked the flashback idea; it seems that it has been done by a professional editor.

What needs to be improved?

I think that they should add in the production logo.

Basil Hassan - Opinion on the Opening

I think that it is dramatic and builds tension for the audience. The way the roundabout makes the audience anxious about what’s going to happen.

What needs to be improved?

They should keep the camera steady.

Shabir Dogar - Opinion on the Opening

After watching the first draft of ‘paranoia’, I think the storyline is very good. This is because it makes me want to watch on and is very interesting.

What needs to be improved?

I believe the font used for credits should be changed as it is barely visible on the background.

Choi Tsang - Opinion on the Opening

I think that it is good but it’s not as scary as it should be because of the people in the background. The background music is high quality and suited the atmosphere. It doesn’t create the suspense because it should be quick.

What needs to be improved?

I think that scene should be speed up a bit.

Our Opinions

Director: Aabidah Ali (me) - Opinion on the Opening

I think the first draft was good but the only problem we had was the lighting as we were filming in the daylight. Though we changed it to black and white, I could see the errors that we made in it due to the sun.

What needs to be improved?

I think that we should really have done the night shots at night so that the audience can see that it is clearly in the night. We also could have choreographed better. We should have got Nadia screaming at the right time.

Director: Safina Rashid - Opinion on the Opening

In my opinion, I think that the first draft was quite good despite being our first attempt. However there are a few things that I disliked about the production such as the black and white effect where you can see the sun in the background. This is because it is supposed to be dark showing that it’s a horror film. I also didn’t like that at some points where the camera is moving, it wobbles a bit. Another thing which is quite frustrating is that Nadia starts to scream when she is walking backwards however this isn’t shown in the production as its been cut out and the audience only hear her scream at the end shot. On the Mac, the credits are shown clearly and are big however on the computer it comes up fuzzy which doesn’t look right.

What needs to be improved?

I think that we should find a way to find to get Nadia’s scream back in where she starts to scream as it shows that she is scared. Also we need to sort out the opening credits and keep them clear so that the audience can see them. We should also do the night shots when it is actually dark.



*Saman Ali was unable to comment.